January 25, 2012 - Conner is 4 1/2!

Well I am way too tired to post a good update but that will come eventually! But I can't miss this day without recognizing Conner's 1/2 birthday. I have been saying Conner is 4.5 for months now. I guess time wasn't go as fast as it felt!

Conner is doing awesome and has made some pretty big strides since his 4th birthday which I will post about when it's not 1:45 a.m.

Here is a great picture of Conner having an awesome time this past weekend at Adaptive Sports Day at U of M. It was a great event and Conner had a fantastic time playing soccer, doing karate, and riding on a tandem bike. More to come!

January 8, 2012 - 10 Months!!

Brennan is 10 months old. I can't believe it. I'm in denial. This year has flown by. We are starting to plan a first birthday party already. While I know she won't really care or remember, we did it for Conner so I think we are going to do it for her. We already have a big birthday weekend planned, but the activities are mostly for Conner (just happens to be her weekend!).

At 10 months old, Brennan is continuing to amaze us with her great personality, all of her new skills and her loving, cuddliness. She is still pulling up and cruising everything, pretty much running while holding on. She crawls at light speed! She will pull up and then let go for about 10-20 seconds, and will walk while holding on to a baby stroller, but she is not ready to walk just yet. She is babbling a bunch and I love hearing her sweet voice. She loves when you do the "How big is Brennan?" game. The first picture is her saying "SO BIG!".  She has also started clapping her hands and waving this month. One day, she was just sitting in the family room in a corner with Conner's legos and I look over and see her just clapping to herself. She giggles so easily and is so fun to play with. She is a really great baby and we are so lucky!

Brennan FINALLY got 4 teeth this month. At about 9 1/2 months, they all came in, pretty much overnight. One morning she woke up and 3 had popped through and then the next morning, there was the 4th. You would never have known it. Teething has not been bad at all for her, and so far, we have only given her Tylenol one time, but that was mostly for an ear infection (at the time we weren't sure if it was ears or teeth). Hopefully, teething will continue to be easy for her. She does gnaw on everything and she is grinding those teeth and figuring them out. I think you can see the two little bottom ones in this picture.

She has started eating more and more and we haven't really found anything so far that she doesn't like. We aren't that aggressive with new foods, so there are probably going to be things she won't eat, but for now, so far so good. She is still loving all kinds of baby food and cereal and now she has tried several fruits and vegetables (not pureed!) too. She has had carrots, green beans, cantaloupe, honeydew and bananas. She has also had little pieces of chicken, bread and bagel. She gets so excited to eat real food! She is not, however, excited about drinking anything other than a bottle with formula in it. She LOVES her bottle and I have no idea how we will get her off of it. She takes 3 bottles a day and is pretty excited about them. I try to offer her water when she eats food. We have tried sippy cups but she has NO interest. So I tried the honey bear cups that we used with Conner. It took him a while to figure out but then he learned to drink from a straw pretty easily. Brennan figured it out in about 10 seconds. She still doesn't like it, but she will take a sip or two if I force her. She loves the cup though and would play with it for an hour.

When Brennan gets excited, she is so animated and it is so fun to see. She squeals and shrieks and screams. She loves stuffed animals and baby dolls. She loves tearing apart all the puzzles in the family room. She loves Conner and gets really sad when he goes upstairs to bed without her. Conner loves her so much too and I hope it stays like that for a long time.

Brennan as a baby is SO different from how Conner was. I notice so many differences between them all the time. They were both great babies, though, and for that I am so grateful. Conner was always a very social little guy and still is. He was never really shy around people and never really had stranger anxiety (and still to this day, he never meets someone he isn't really comfortable with). David and I usually think it's because as a little baby, he was around so many different people. For his first 4 months, we were only with him about 12 hours a day. The rest of the time he was with other caretakers. He was held and snuggled by lots of nurses who loved him and we think that's why he is okay with most people. Brennan is so different than that. She is so happy and animated at home, but when we are out in a crowd she is very reserved. She is SHY. We have gone to some groups and we tried a class and she wanted nothing to do with it. She won't even smile. She checks everything out and takes a while to warm up to most other people. Even my family, she takes time with. She doesn't see many other people besides the three of us and we are who she is most comfortable with. She has MAJOR stranger anxiety (since she was very little). We actually had a babysitter last week and she did great so that was reassuring. I'm hoping to try out another baby class or two and see how she does. Hopefully she will come out of her shell and let everyone see her great little personality!

During the last month, we took another road trip (more later) and Brennan got pretty sick. She ended up with RSV and an ear infection. It took her about 4 weeks to get over it and finally she is getting better. Thankfully, she did okay and we didn't have to go to the hospital or anything. She did end up with a few breathing treatments, but that was no big deal since we already had the stuff here for Conner. We did get a pediatrician visit though so I know her weight this month did not change. She is holding at 20 lbs, 15 oz (she might have actually been 14 oz.). She seems so heavy!

Anyway, things seem to be right on track for her and she is such a blessing to our family.

January 1, 2011 - Happy New Year!

Well as always, one of my resolutions is to update more frequently. I don't know how many of our friends and family have stuck with us through these 4 long years, especially since I have been so bad about posting, but I hope to get better this coming year.

So Happy New Year to all of our friends and family and hope this year brings lots of health and happiness to everyone.

December 8, 2011 - 9 months old

Well, there has been so much going on and so much to update, but I never seem to have a minute alone when I have the energy to post. So here I am (it's not really Dec. 8 any more!) in a hotel room at 9:00 and everyone is asleep so I thought I would use my time wisely (TV is off, it's quiet - except for snores and coughs!).

Brennan turned 9 months old on December 8. Holy moly! I better start planning her first birthday party! No really, I have no idea what we are going to do for it. I am so in love with this girl but I hate that she is growing up so fast. I know I say that every month, but it really is getting me down. She passed right through that baby-phase so fast. From the time she was little bitty, I have had a hard time getting pictures of her sitting still. She's a wild child!! But she is perfect and doing great and we love her so much.

At 9 months, here are the stats:
Weight: 20 lbs, 15 oz - 75th percentile
Height: 28 inches - 75th percentile
Head circumference - can't remember (I have it written down at home!) but it was 75th percentile too.

So overall, Brennan is consistent. She actually weighed 20 lbs a month or so so she hasn't gained much lately. People think she is older than 9 months still. It's the hair! It just grows and grows. Brennan is still crawling around and cruising the furniture. She's been doing this for a few months now so we are just waiting for her to take off. My grandma bought her a little stroller to push so she is doing a little moving with that. A few times, we have noticed her letting go and standing by herself for a bit. I saw her do it for a few seconds. David thinks she did it for at least 30 seconds (I think he might be exaggerating!!). She is babbling all the time and "talking" back and forth with us (more like yelling). She also started waving which is super cute and I swear she is mouthing "hi" although nothing comes out of her mouth!

She is still toothless, although the doctor said she saw no less than 6 teeth trying to come out. You can't tell this baby is teething. She is mostly all smiles (except at naptime!) and isn't nearly as drooly as I expected her to be. I used to have to change Conner's shirt a few times a day but Brennan is nowhere near as wet! She is still eating mostly baby food and formula. She likes all the stage 2 and stage 3 stuff I have given her. She also likes rice crackers, puffs and bunnie-o's. (She is getting a great pincer grasp!). She has had some tofu from my soup at the sushi place we like and seemed to like that and she likes bananas too. We tried yogurt but she got some eczema patches on her legs so the pediatrician wants us to wait another month before trying dairy again. I'm pretty sure she's fine with it because she has been on regular formula all along, but she just wants us to wait a bit which is okay with me. We were trying to get her on a good breakfast, lunch and dinner schedule but it didn't work well for her. The doctor said that is fine and we can continue things how they are working. There are no set rules and we really didn't want to mess with her good schedule until after the holidays. I'm a little hesitant about solids because she has no teeth, but when we are home for a good stretch of time, I'll try a few more things.

It really is amazing and a totally different experience to see how easily things are coming to Brennan. The pincer grasp is something Conner has struggled with and continues to struggle with since he was an infant. Brennan gets better at it every day with no therapy or help from anyone. Same with the babbling, waving, etc. She's got a great personality too!

In the last month, we went on a 2 week road trip and did a few other things which will come in a different post. Brennan did really well most of our vacation but since we got home, sleeping has been a little bit of an issue. We are working on "crying it out" and she "gets it" after a few days, but then inevitably we have a day when we have something to do and she sleeps in the car or something which take us back to starting over with it all. Hopefully once things calm down and we get in to a new schedule in January, things will get better on that front.

A few weeks ago, some people that I knew in grad school (who married each other) had a bad car accident. Their two kids and one of their parents were in the car. The two sons had the worst injuries. One of them is doing great and making a speedy recovery. The other one had a much worse injury and is not expected to live. Although these are not people who I have really kept in touch with over the years (except on facebook), it has been eating away at me since I heard about it. I'm not sure if it's my nursing background or because I'm a parent or because I have lost a child but I am just so devastated for them and devastated that these things happen. It reminds me of how precious life is and how I should be happy for every day that I have with Conner and Brennan. All kids lives are so precious and it kills me knowing that another one is lost. I know the pain that I felt losing Braedon but it is a pain that never goes away. We think about him every day and what our life may have been like if he was here. He was a baby so I didn't get the chance to see him learn how to walk or talk or play games or be creative like Conner. I never got to see him together with Conner playing and becoming the best of friends. We missed out and continue to miss out on so many things. Conner's life will never be what it might have been. As he has gotten older, it is very clear that he notices something missing. David and I talk about it all the time. He is missing a part of him. I can only hope that Brennan fills a little of that hole although his brother can never be replaced.

I am pretty sure that we got through Braedon's death because we had to for Conner. I know that I never fully dealt with losing him. I just went on and continue to move on because I have to. Before Brennan, I just focused on Conner and what he needed to reach his fullest potential. I research and take him wherever I can find that is the best for him. I probably piss off a ton of people in my way just to get him where he needs to be. I drive him all over the world taking him to appointments. I kept busy worrying and panicking about Conner's future, his schooling, if he'll have friends, if he'll be able to learn, will he ever talk, etc. etc. Then Brennan came and changed everything. I focus on her while Conner is at school, but when she naps or things are quiet, I have time to really think about all that has happened to us and how our life is. I don't know why it is all coming up now but I'm glad it is. It's not healthy to keep things inside so I'm trying to deal with life as it goes. Maybe it's because Conner is doing so well that now I have a minute to think about where we came from. I don't know. Maybe it's all the rude and thoughtless comments people make. I don't know. But I'm learning to deal with it and I'll probably need years of therapy to recover. I'll do what I need to do for my kids, but for me too. At least when I have a few free moments!

Anyway, what I really want to say in all of this is that life is so precious and I will hug and love my kids more each day and remember to live each day to its fullest. My heart breaks for this family and any family that loses a child. It is the worst thing that can happen and I pray that they can get through this very terrible loss.

November 8, 2011 - Brennan at 8 months

Well since this is pretty late (it's not November any more), I'll just give some quick stats about Brennan...

B turned 8 months old. We didn't have an exact weight (no doctor until next month for well visit) but she is over 20 pounds. She is HUGE!! She's tall and "healthy" looking! She is often mistaken for much older, because of her size, but mostly because of the hair!

Brennnan is babbling (yeah!) and making all kinds of mouth sounds. She is very happy and social but getting some stranger anxiety. She definitely does not like to be left alone, even for a second. It's hard to get to the bathroom! She is still cruising the furniture and she is a very fast crawler. She does not stop!!

She is still eating baby food and oatmeal twice a day and 3 bottles a day. She has also tried puffs and is getting better with those so maybe some day we will move past those. She likes most foods we have tried. The only bad ones are some of the really thick looking (dog food-esque) jarred foods. I even tried some stage 3 packets and I returned the rest. They looked and smelled so vile.

Brennan is still a toothless wonder! She doesn't drool too much yet (a little) and we aren't really experiencing any really bad teething symptoms yet. Conner was a super late teether so we're thinking it's just a family thing! She wants to be with Conner all the time and likes to do just what he does!!

Otherwise, things are good. Brennan did get another cold/sinus infection that lasted forever and did get to take amoxicillin again. She handled it great (even though there was constant snot in her hair!). She is the best baby and we love her so much!

November 3, 2011 - Babbling

Brennan started babbling today. It has been coming on for a few weeks now, but today she started really babbling. A few weeks ago, she started becoming a little more vocal. She will have a little yelling contest with whoever will participate with her (Conner!) but a lot of times she is quiet. Today, I could really hear her babbling. I think David and I both had tears in our eyes at the sound of it. To most people, this may not be a momentous occasion. I mean, it's our second child and it's just babbling. Conner first syllable sound came when he was just over 15 months old. We were in the car driving home on a long road trip. Maybe one or two consonants repeated (ex. bababa). We were so happy to finally hear it and we thought things would just take off...but it never did. We waited until Conner was 2 before he had any words at all and when he went to camp as a 3 year old, he was still labeling and only ever said one word at a time. He knew a few signs (which he doesn't remember any more!) but that was it. Thankfully, over the past year, Conner has become a little talking superstar and we are so proud but this has been the result of a TON of hard work from him and hours and hours of therapy.

So to us, this is huge and to people who know us in real life, you know that this has been a concern of mine for a long time.

When Conner was little, everyone used to tell us what a good baby he was because he was pretty much silent. I didn't know any better and I agreed...Conner was a great baby and so quiet and well behaved. I could even take him to the library. So, now when people say the same thing about Brennan, I cringe. Knowing what I know now, I want my kid to be the chatty verbal one because I know that "late" babbling is a sign of apraxia which we have struggled with with Conner for 4 years. As I'm sure I mentioned before, apraxia can be hereditary, or it could also be a result of one of the other things that have happened during Conner's life, or just as a result of his severe prematurity. In fact, although he is "officially" diagnosed with apraxia, I'm not sure if that is what it is. Conner definitely exhibits some characteristics, but who knows, really? Conner's brain was affected by being born so early so that could be the reason for his speech difficulties.

So, the momentous thing happened. We've been hearing more sounds for a few weeks. I keep telling Conner that Brennan is talking to him and he should start teaching her stuff. He is mostly interested in taking stuff away from her. It's funny how he is with her. He loves her so much and wants to hug her and kiss her, but since she has become much more mobile and takes his toys, he is reconsidering. I'm hoping that he will start to share better with her...there are so many toys but he always wants the thing that is in her hand. And, Brennan has her own toys, but somehow she knows that she wants Conner's stuff more than her own!

At dinner tonight, I was getting her food ready and she was babbling away. I kept looking at David and saying "do you hear that?" over and over again. It is such a totally different experience watching her learn things. She doesn't have to work as hard as Conner ever did and things are coming to her naturally. I don't have to do therapy with her to teach her the pincer grasp or how to chew. She is figuring out how to move food around in her mouth all by herself. It's pretty amazing to watch and something I'm not sure I would appreciate if we hadn't been in therapy with Conner his whole life.

Anyway, it was a momentous day and one I will not forget. Brennan's "talking" was music to our ears!

Here are a few photos just for fun!

Anyway, just wanted to record our day so I would know that this happened...Brennan is now just shy of 8 months and we are loving every minute of it! More Halloween and other pics coming soon!

November 3, 2011 - Babbling

Brennan started babbling today. It has been coming on for a few weeks now, but today she started really babbling. A few weeks ago, she started becoming a little more vocal. She will have a little yelling contest with whoever will participate with her (Conner!) but a lot of times she is quiet. Today, I could really hear her babbling. I think David and I both had tears in our eyes at the sound of it. To most people, this may not be a momentous occasion. I mean, it's our second child and it's just babbling. Conner first syllable sound came when he was just over 15 months old. We were in the car driving home on a long road trip. Maybe one or two consonants repeated (ex. bababa). We were so happy to finally hear it and we thought things would just take off...but it never did. We waited until Conner was 2 before he had any words at all and when he went to camp as a 3 year old, he was still labeling and only ever said one word at a time. He knew a few signs (which he doesn't remember any more!) but that was it. Thankfully, over the past year, Conner has become a little talking superstar and we are so proud but this has been the result of a TON of hard work from him and hours and hours of therapy.

So to us, this is huge and to people who know us in real life, you know that this has been a concern of mine for a long time.

When Conner was little, everyone used to tell us what a good baby he was because he was pretty much silent. I didn't know any better and I agreed...Conner was a great baby and so quiet and well behaved. I could even take him to the library. So, now when people say the same thing about Brennan, I cringe. Knowing what I know now, I want my kid to be the chatty verbal one because I know that "late" babbling is a sign of apraxia which we have struggled with with Conner for 4 years. As I'm sure I mentioned before, apraxia can be hereditary, or it could also be a result of one of the other things that have happened during Conner's life, or just as a result of his severe prematurity. In fact, although he is "officially" diagnosed with apraxia, I'm not sure if that is what it is. Conner definitely exhibits some characteristics, but who knows, really? Conner's brain was affected by being born so early so that could be the reason for his speech difficulties.

So, the momentous thing happened. We've been hearing more sounds for a few weeks. I keep telling Conner that Brennan is talking to him and he should start teaching her stuff. He is mostly interested in taking stuff away from her. It's funny how he is with her. He loves her so much and wants to hug her and kiss her, but since she has become much more mobile and takes his toys, he is reconsidering. I'm hoping that he will start to share better with her...there are so many toys but he always wants the thing that is in her hand. And, Brennan has her own toys, but somehow she knows that she wants Conner's stuff more than her own!

At dinner tonight, I was getting her food ready and she was babbling away. I kept looking at David and saying "do you hear that?" over and over again. It is such a totally different experience watching her learn things. She doesn't have to work as hard as Conner ever did and things are coming to her naturally. I don't have to do therapy with her to teach her the pincer grasp or how to chew. She is figuring out how to move food around in her mouth all by herself. It's pretty amazing to watch and something I'm not sure I would appreciate if we hadn't been in therapy with Conner his whole life.

Anyway, it was a momentous day and one I will not forget. Brennan's "talking" was music to our ears!

Here are a few photos just for fun!

Anyway, just wanted to record our day so I would know that this happened...Brennan is now just shy of 8 months and we are loving every minute of it! More Halloween and other pics coming soon!